Not Hotdog

Once Hillary was elected I began to loose my faith in humanity. One day when I was looking through the app store to see if there was an app that could determine if my "Fidget spinner" was really a spinner, I stumbled across this app that showcases the potential of the human mind, technological ingenuity, and one of the biggest questions to mankind; is my hotdog really a hotdog? Once I downloaded this app I was instantly impressed. The graphics appear to be from at least 30+ years into the future and the app has the power of a quantum super computer. I thought, well, this is all quite impressive but, does it really solve the problem? So I gave it my first test. I placed a hoverboard in front of the camera and sure enough, it was not a hotdog. Next, i got my pomeranian to dab in front of the camera. No hot dog. This was it. Time for the true test. I placed a franks all beef hotdog in front of the camera and prayed. My palms were sweating all over my phone and my knees were so weak I nearly fell to the floor. I launched the camera, and to the astonishment of the human race, sitting before me was a 100% certified hotdog. Ever since this experience my faith in the power of humanity was restored and my life has been completely changed for the better.

These words describe perfectly my experience with this app. I had lost all faith in humanity after the election of 2016. I spent 2 years lost and uncertain about life and the future. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, music was taken over by pill popping morons like 6ix9ine and Lil Pump. It was over there was no hope for humanity. Right when I was ready to end it all to end the nonstop Fortenite dances and the nonstop sound of mumble rap I found this app. I picked up my phone and opened the app reluctantly. I fully expected a Fortenite video or Donald Trump speech to pop up on my phone, but instead it was the camera. I took a selfie and to my disbelief the app knew that I was not a hot dog. I quickly walked to the fridge and took out a pack of all beef franks my hands shaking sweat dripping down my forehead. I tore open the pack and grabbed a bun. Once I had the hot dog ready I closed my eyes and took the picture. When I opened them my life was changed forever. Sitting in front of me was an 100% certified hot dog. My faith in humanity and the future had been restored.

After finding out that my pet tortoise Herbay died I was devastated. RIP Herbay!? For weeks I only ate at lest 7 whole Big Macs per day. To lift my spirts I opened the App Store hoping to find a app that would entertain me. There it was Not Hotdog, it immediately caught my eye balls. In a matter of time the Not Hotdog app was on my home screen, I opened it finding a camera. I took a picture of my friend El Nesto, a banner popped up from the top saying Not Hotdog. I was relieved he wasn’t a Hotdog. For the rest of the day I walked around the city looking for hotdogs. Around lunchtime, I saw a hotdog vendor on the street. I just want to get a hotdog. I took out my phone and took a picture. I was elated to find that my perfect hotdog, in all its glory, was sure enough an authentic hotdog. The next day, I went to a hiring agency to ask if I could be a professional hotdog identifyer. They told me they would love to have me on their team and I got the job. Now, I walk around town, using the amazing Not Hotdog app.

So as a fiesty young stud in the dating scene, I found this app very helpful. First let me explain. After ending a 4.5 month relationship over arguing and not agreeing on many issues, I have been looking for ways to back up all decisions with facts. While attending a game at Kauffman Stadium with a new friend I met in one of those weird Facebook groups, I was tasked with the duty of going to get a hot dog. This girl is a solid 9.5 on the hot crazy/matrix. . I did not want to mess this up over a misunderstand about concession servings. I visited THREE vendors before finding the PERFECT hotdog. After multiple scans, the app verified my purchase of a REAL hotdog. And obviously, this made my hot date in the stands ecstatic. Not a single peep about the food not being a hotdog. I knew I had sealed the deal. Then... when I went to take a selfie of us to brag to my friends... the app immediately determined my date as... you guessed it... HOTDOG. I left and never talked to her again.

I have been searching for a hotdog finder on the Internet for years and finally I have found one. In case you're at a barbecue or camping and really need to find a hotdog in the area. You can take pictures of all your surroundings and find hotdogs in seconds. This literally saved me at least five hours a day looking for hotdogs in my fridge. I love hotdogs. And cats. I don't think I'll ever find a hotdog find her like this, I really hope they don't take it down. Sometimes I question what I eat, so this really helps me understand the difference between a hotdog and a Polish sausage. If you're ever at a hotdog stand and they give you a Polish sausage, but you ordered a hotdog, this app will help you prove that what you ordered was a hotdog and not a Polish sausage, which you received.