Icy Bounce

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Icy Bounce. The mechanics are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the nuances will go over a typical player’s head. There’s also Dr. Penguin’s icy outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from post-modernist literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these nuances, to realise that they’re not just mechanics- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Icy Bounce truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Dr. Penguin’s existential catchphrase “SCRAW SCRAW SCRAW,” which itself is a cryptic reference to James Joyce’s modernist epic Ulysses. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Elon Musk’s genius wit unfolds itself on their phone screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have an Icy Bounce tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

Before I downloaded this app I was honestly so lost. I had nothing. Lost my job, my girlfriend, and all my money. But there’s something so soothing about watching my little guy jump from ice block to ice block. I regained confidence and the mathematical nature of the game improved my GRE scores. After making a perfect score on my recent exam I was accepted to Harvard’s PhD program in experimental quantum mechanics. Many people there also play the game. Thank you to whoever made this app. I owe you.

This game is honestly the best thing that has happened to my life. The amazing graphics has shown me how beautiful the world can be if I look through the right screen. It has shown me that there is always something to look forward to, from jumping onto the next block to collecting the next coin to beating your high score. Thank you for helping me enjoy life once more.

Before playing this game, I couldn’t feel or use my legs. They lay around, useless. But somehow after I started playing this amazing, incredible game, the adorable little penguin provided me the inspiration to learn to walk. I am now a marathon runner preparing for the next Olympics. Must download.

As a professional rapper (YUNG WAFFLES), and an amateur marine biologist, I like to play games. When I’m not chasing creatures in the deep sea, releasing new content on soundcloud, or raising my 32 children, I love taking the time to bounce from iceberg to iceberg. Why do mescaline or lysergic acid when you have this game, it is honestly so much better.